i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
