We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize