he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
