C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
