she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
tell me about the fingering
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