is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
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Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
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I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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