Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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