WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
