She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize