Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
i wish my penis had a tongue
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
