I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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