How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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