Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
