3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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