I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize
