are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
They took my balls.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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