This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize