I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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