i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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