So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
