Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
