i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
