I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize