I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize