Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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