I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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