He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
