He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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