I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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