I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
