They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
