I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize