anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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