I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
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After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
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What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So vagazzling was a success
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