you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize