I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
