Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?