I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
