I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
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At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
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I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"