I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then