Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
