May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Randomize
