yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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