Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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