I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
