There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
