Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
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What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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