Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Randomize
