Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
