"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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