Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
We left the knife in your bed.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
