We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize
