I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
