I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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