The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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