Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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