So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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