half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
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