i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize