Sponge bath it is.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Randomize
