you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Drake has all the answers
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
soo... how was my night?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
