it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I queefed so loud it echoed.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
