roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
