Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
