rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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